Lesweek 6!

Deze week ging over relaties! Zeer interessant! Ik zal een paar belangrijke punten opschrijven. Enjoy!

All relationships have 4 basic elements:
1. LOVE : The most enduring
2. TRUST : The most fragile
3. HONOUR : The most overlooked
4. UNDERSTANDING : The one that takes the longest

LOVE

‘Let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God’
1 John 4: 7

2 verschillende soorten liefde:
- Emotional love : A matter of feelings or affections.
- Volitional love : A choice

It’s good to have emotions, but emotions are never meant to be decision makers!
A relationship is stable when it’s based on a choice.

It’s our responsibility to show God’s love through CARE for others. CARE is what other people helps to see God’s love. Be Jesus (point to Jesus) to people.

Some people think that if you want to be a Christian you first have to BEHAVE, then BELIEVE in God and then you will BELONG to God.
If you focus on behavior, it looks like we serve a behavior focused God and that’s not true.

We can first have a place to belong, Jesus accepts us. BELONG
Than we believe. BELIEVE
Because we are loved by Jesus and love Jesus, we want to change our behavior. BEHAVE

Luke 19: 1-10 is about Zacchaeus. People thought that Jesus would judge him, but he accepted him. He belonged. When he knew that, He changed.

A lot of times, we are known more for what we are against, than what we are for, as Christians.
All things in the bible, God’s commandments, are there out of LOVE. He tells us what we can better not do, because He knows that it’s going to hurt us and others. And He tells us what is good to do.

Our reaction says more about us, than about the other person.
Difficult people show us how we really are, by our reaction to them.

I used to do blame shifting and tell the other person that it was their fault that I react like that.
But now I know that I have personal responsibility. We cannot change others and what they say, but we can watch our own reaction and let it be loving.

‘You can GIVE without LOVING, but you cannot LOVE without GIVING’

‘By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has this world’s goods and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in Him? My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth’.
1 John 3: 16-18

‘Once we understand and receive God’s love, that He freely gives to us, then we are free to enjoy all our relationships, with all their imperfections’.

TRUST

Trust:
- Reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surely
- Confident expectation of something: hope
- A person on whom, or thing on which, we rely

Are we the same on the outside as we are on the inside?

Image - Who people think we are
Integrity - Who we really are

We wear a lot of masks. We don’t want people to know who we really are. We just show the good side. Hypocrisy is always more concerned with the form than the reality.

I have to admit that I used to show my good side only, at least, I tried to. Because you want people to like you, right? But if people only like you when you are friendly and nice, they are not real friends!

I want to choose to be a woman of integrity. I want to be the same on the outside as on the inside. I want my words and deeds to match. Only then you are trustworthy! I want to be the same person with everyone and show who I really am. I want to let my YES be YES and my NO be NO.
This is not easy, but it is possible!

‘The path you take with your feet should never contradict the conviction of your heart’

HONOUR

What does honour mean?
- To be prized
- To be cherished
- To consider weighty ; significant

We can only truly honour people when we see them through the eyes of God.
To give honour you need to be humble.

Things that wound honour:
- Criticism
- Being ignored or disregarded
- Trying to embarrass
- Selfishness
- Irresponsibility
- Thoughtless words
- Pettiness

How can we honour people (practical ways)
- Listen in conversations, be interested
- Smile, make others feel fabulous
- Use positive words
- Honour people in your thought life

The blood of Jesus was for everyone! We have to honour every person!
Sometimes we only honour persons we like. But we don’t honour people we don’t like.
God wants us to honour everyone. Everyone is special in His eyes.

UNDERSTANDING

Ignorance : lack of knowledge, unawareness
The enemies success is based upon our ignorance. When we don’t know / are not aware why people do what they do, we begin to assume we know why! (But we don’t!)

Barriers to understanding:
- Lack of communication
- Inability or unwillingness to listen property
- Deception
- Insensitivity, and lack of imagination
- Mistake, misconception, miscommunication (we often think that people think the same way as we do!)

We need to be secure in our own uniqueness, so that we can celebrate others uniqueness!

Circle of understanding
- You will never understand the other person, unless they reveal themselves to you
- They will never reveal themselves to you, unless they trust you
- They will never trust you, unless they know you
- They will never know you, unless you reveal yourself to them

ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS

There is a different between criteria and values.
Criteria : Play guitar, good looking etc.
Values : Faithful, integrity, do you want to get children etc.

In our head we have this list of criteria that we think that our partner has to be, but we place criteria on things that don’t really matter! When you are married for a few years, the fact that your partner is good looking or is playing the guitar isn’t going to help you through, but their values and character is what is going to get you through.

Immature love : You are here to meet my needs
Mature love : We are meeting each other needs

When we allow God to meet our needs we can say to our partner: ‘I am here because I love you, not because I have needs’.
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We hadden een afspraak met de leider van de dishcrew. Als we voor 7.05 klaar waren, met de afwas (van gemiddeld 350 borden enz.) en het schoonmaken van de keuken zou hij ons trakteren op een ijsje van de Hungry Jacks. Deze week was het ons gelukt! Normaal zijn we rond half 8, 8 uur klaar.
Er waren mensen weg op kamp, dus er was minder om schoon te maken. Heeerlijk, I love ICECREAM!